Guns to God: My journey from drug dealing to deliverance

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During his time at Arizona State University, where he attended undergrad and law school, Claude said he was given a final assignment in his Native American literature class and he decided to write his first play. He received a B for that play and now, more than 20 years later, one of his works, "Olivia," is set to be performed at ASU’s Theater Lab next fall. By the time I was in my early teens, I’d lost interest in any kind of academic pursuit and began selling cigarettes in school. I was selling cannabis from the age of 15. In my late teens I was selling cocaine and by the time I was 25, I sold heroin. You never think when you’re a teenager down the park, sitting on a swing and having a spliff, that dealing drugs is going to turn into this huge business where you’re making thousands of pounds. I would shop in Harrods and I had so many vehicles – Mercedes, Range Rovers, BMWs.

The play had originally come from a shorter piece he wrote in 2019, which won the Von Marie Atchley Excellence in Playwriting Award for Native Voices at the Autry. Theater for Indigenous actors, playwrights and directors isn't anything new but it's not as well known as the Indigenous movie and television scene, which has become increasingly popular in recent years. Claude said in a span of about seven years of playwriting, he has met Indigenous theater actors and playwrights like the well-known Larissa FastHorse, whose play, "The Thanksgiving Play," is one of the top 10 most produced plays in America this season. Claude had actually worked in one of her plays. When Claud was six years old, he held a gun for the first time – a nine millimetre handgun belonging to his older brother. ‘The gun possessed power, and as young as I was, I could feel it. I could feel its darkness and I could feel its strength’, he recalls. Claud hero-worshipped his brother, who left home in his early teens to become a violent drug dealer and was in prison by the time Claud was seven. Claude's powerful play is one of the many being written, produced, and shared, and every single day I am thankful that there are more and more opportunities for Natives to see ourselves onstage," she said. "Theater didn't begin with the Greeks like we're taught. Theater began with us, Indigenous peoples, telling stories for thousands and thousands of years before Greece even existed, so every Native storyteller has a place in the theater if they so want it." 'The theater nerd I always wanted to be'

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The earlier years of going to movies also left an impression on Roberto, and both brothers have worked on movie projects together. One movie they wrote together is called "In Circles," which Roberto directed in 2015.

Born in Clapham, the youngest of 6 siblings, Claud grew up in the shadow of domestic violence, with a London-born mum and an abusive and controlling Jamaican dad. He spent his childhood treading on eggshells, keen not to provoke the anger which his dad would regularly take out on Claud, his mum, his siblings, and their dog. ‘Terrible pain and darkness filled our lives on a daily basis’, Claud writes, with fear and anxiety being constant companions for him as a young boy. Hopefully the play does well in San Francisco and someone will take a chance and bring the play to Arizona," said Claude. "I'm hoping I can bring it to Arizona. It's a great story and I want to show it off to not only my community, but to the other O'odham communities, and to other tribes." Guns to God is an inspiring and thought-provoking Christian autobiography for anyone wanting a stronger understanding of and insight into the struggle against drugs and drug dealing in urban communities in the UK, and the role that the Christian faith has to play. Claud’s passion for football and his natural talent led to him being invited for a trial at Wimbledon football club at the age of 13. But when his brother laughed at him for thinking he could make a success of football, his confidence was shattered and he didn’t attend the trial after all. Instead he started smoking, drinking and doing drugs with his brother and his friends, and selling cigarettes to his school friends. Search for belongingHis brother became increasingly violent and was arrested again, leading to the first of many searches of their home, often in the middle of the night. Claud’s own cannabis habit – taking, buying and selling – increased. Then, when Claud was 16, his dad died. As much as Claud had hated his dad at times, he also loved him too –‘it was my father’s bravery and strength that sustained us and, ever since his death, our family has fallen apart’, he writes. Claud has now passed his Bishops’ Advisory Panel (BAP) and is in the process of training for two years to become a Church of England priest. Once ordained, he would love to plant a church and to work with young people to decrease gang culture and knife crime. As he approaches 40, he is deeply grateful for ‘God’s truly amazing grace [which] took a once successful London drug-dealing street trader all the way from deliveries to deliverance, from guns to God’. From growing up in an abusive home to falling into crime and later finding Jesus, my journey has been a colourful one… I know that the Lord can use everything that has happened to me for his glory and that he has a plan and purpose for my life and for yours.’ Claude is excited about the San Francisco premier, but he is hoping to bring "Cashed Out" to Arizona. The manager was the most grounded, humble individual. My jeans would be worth more than his whole outfit. I’d park my convertible, and he’d cycle to work.

It was hypocritical of me, but I never used drugs myself because I’d seen the damage they’d done to people who took them. THE ENCOUNTER Indigenous art: In 'Rutherford Falls,' Native artists portray Indigenous life through Native eyes Creating opportunities for Native artistsWe watched the videos and they said: “If you’d like to invite Jesus into your life, you can.” So I prayed and said: “I dare you to come into my life, Jesus, and do what these people sayyou can do.” That’s a typical ‘show and prove’ mentality you grow up with in south London. And I kid you not, I felt such a welcoming presence come over me. I knew at that moment that I had encountered something and it was real. OVERWHELMED BY JOY After week one I thought: They seem alright, they’re not trying to brainwash me yet. So the second week I turned up and put my hand out to the lady to shake it, and she gave me a hug. I was mind-blown. I remember thinking: I’ve never been hugged. Anyone who thinks they might be too deeply involved in a lifestyle of crime and deceit, resulting in an inner hollowness, will be inspired that total transformation is possible. Claud, today, is a gentle giant who knows God has a plan for his life. Make sure you read this and discover how God can radically change you too. - Reverend Emmy Wilson, Curate at Holy Trinity Brompton Arlyssa Becenti covers Indigenous affairs for The Arizona Republic and azcentral. Send ideas and tips to [email protected]. His story is one of poverty, abuse, drug dealing and violence – and of a life turned round by a loving God who refused to give up on him.